i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
