Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
