is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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