Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
