Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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