Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
