just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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