just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
