I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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