mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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