i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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