I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
