you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
