P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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