All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just want to make out with him forever
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
