I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
