You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
