I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
