I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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