But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
