Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
