it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
