Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
