at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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