I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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