the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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