hotel room ftw
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
