at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
