Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
