well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
