highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
