i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
