The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
