You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
