I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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