I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
