Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
