oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This baby is an asshole
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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