I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
