pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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