he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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