There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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