We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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