So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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