This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
