he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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