let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
