it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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