Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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