Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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