i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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