I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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