its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
